Hanging by Your Toes from a Lurlinemas Tree
by BlissfullySortOfAnonymous
Summary: Now that's the life for me! Fiyero gets a little creative in his decorating ideas.


**Disclaimer: I don't own this show, or Madagascar (I used a line from it). **

**Here's my Christmas oneshot! I got this idea from a comment somebody posted that said that their Wicked obsession made their friends want to hang them by their toenails from a very tall tree. I read it and thought, 'Hmm…I can see Yero doing that…' Lol. **

It was a snowy white Lurlinemas Eve, and Shiz was decked in all its finest. At least, the _inside_ of Shiz was decked in its finest. The grounds were depressingly bare.

This is what Fiyero noticed as he sat at his desk, lamenting the fact that his date had gotten the flu, and that the replacement he'd chosen was now in detention. He could have gone down the line, of course, but for some odd reason, that always seemed to upset the original date. She'd start going on about him being "insensitive", or some other such nonsense. So now he was stuck doing homework in the hope that he wouldn't be kicked out of school as his Lurlinemas present.

Desperate for an excuse to leave his bedroom, Fiyero focused on the pathetic lack of decorations. After much deliberation –which, in Fiyero's case, means about five seconds of deliberation- he decided that this was a problem that needed fixing, and that he was just the hunk for the job.

Stepping out into the frosty air- which was currently filled with the shouts and laughter of the lucky students who were free to engage in snowball fights, rather than being shut up in their dorms like _some_ poor, tortured souls (such as himself)- he puzzled over what would be the best way to go about this.

On the one hand, he was confident that his multitude of physical charms was sufficient to brighten the place up significantly. But how to do it? He didn't have a large enough poster of himself to be clearly visible, so he would have to work with what he _did _have- that is, himself. Plus, of course, a good deal of cleverness and ingenuity that he liked to think was hidden in there somewhere, even though it rarely- ok, _never_ showed itself. But hey, there's a first time for everything, right? '_Tonight is that first,'_ Fiyero thought as a large spruce tree in the middle of the snow-covered lawn caught his attention. '_Tonight, everyone shall have no choice but to recognize my brilliance.'_

Hatching a plan as he went, he scurried stealthily to Shiz's main supply closet to…ahem, "borrow" some supplies. _'It's for the school's own good_,' he reasoned. '_If I provide the beauty, the least Shiz can do is provide the rope.'_ His rather small conscience left it at that.

A half hour and several bumps and bruises later, Fiyero hung by his feet from the aforementioned spruce tree, serving as quite possibly the best-looking ornament Shiz- or Oz, for that matter- had ever seen.

"Well," he triumphed. "I'm bruised, biffed, and lacerated, but I've done it!" He raised his voice and called to the students, "Behold, lowly Shizians, my brilliant success in brightening this courtyard. Feel free to bask in my glow."

He closed his eyes then, and spread his arms out wide, allowing the baffled students to do just that.

"Umm, Fiyero?" Fiyero opened his eyes to find Avaric standing in front of him, looking perplexed.

"I'm kinda busy right now, Av."

"What in Oz are you doing?"

"I'm glowing," Fiyero announced, beaming radiantly for the crowd's benefit. "I noticed we were kind of short on ornaments out here, and I thought, 'What better way to decorate a courtyard than with my face?' So here I am, spreading Lurlinemas joy." He paused and continued to beam for a minute, then added conversationally, "You should try it sometime."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Stepping outside for some fresh air after successful completion of her midterm essay, Elphaba was greeted with quite a spectacle. The enormous spruce and pine trees that sprinkled Shiz's front lawn were filled to bursting with what appeared to be every student in the school but herself, as well as a professor or two. What was more, every last one of them was upside down, tied to a branch by their feet. To top it all off, most of the students were flailing helplessly, and some were dangling by only one foot, having broken the cords holding the other.

"Elphaba! Help!" Looking around for the source of the noise, Elphaba spotted Fiyero, hanging front and center from a spruce tree that stood several yards away.

"Why, Master Tiggular, fancy seeing you here this fine evening," she said pleasantly. Then, dropping her falsely cordial tone, she demanded, "What are you _doing_?"

"We were decorating the courtyard- human ornaments, you know," he told her, as if it should be obvious. "But now we have a problem."

'_So this is what happens when eye-candy gets bored…'_ Elphaba mused. Forcing herself to keep a straight face, she inquired, "Oh? And what might that be?"

"Well, we…uhh…that is to say, we…we can't get down."

"Huh. Fascinating." _'It just doesn't get any better than this,'_ she thought, carefully concealing her glee at the situation. _'Maybe I'll have to start celebrating Lurlinemas, after all.'_ Highly amused, but still feigning indifference, she began to leave.

"Elphaba! Wait!"

Turning back, she arched an eyebrow. "What? I'm not going to join you, if that's what you want. _I_, for one, am not a monkey, nor do I have any intention of acting like one."

"Elphie," he pleaded. "You're the only person left on the ground. You have to help us."

Elphaba walked slowly and deliberately toward him, coming to a halt a couple of feet away. She studied him for a minute, tilting her head and taking in his pathetic, hopeful puppy dog expression. A smirk worked its way onto her lips. "No, I don't think I will." She laughed gleefully as his eyes widened in shock.

With that, she turned and strolled casually away, whistling to herself as the flailing students' calls for help got farther and farther away. '_What a day….'_

**Well, there you go. If you guys are nice and review, maybe I'll do a romantic little Fiyeraba Lurlinemas party. **


End file.
